Today my dad rang me at work. I knew something was wrong because he never rings me at work. In a broken voice he told me he'd had our cat put down.
It wasn't really a shock as she was 18 and very frail but I didn't realise he was taking her to the vets. Apparently he woke up that morning and she could barely walk so he drove her to the vets straight away .
I feel sad but I feel even sadder for my dad. Because this is a reminder of something much worse which happened just over a year ago.
When I was 18 I moved to a different part of the country. I couldn't really take the cat so I left her with my dad. Eventually Berni, his wife to be and partner of 10 years, moved in with him and my cat became her cat. I was pleased because they really seemed to dote on each other.
Not long after my dad and Berni married we discovered Berni had cancer for the second time. As she went through treatment she spent a lot of time at home and I guess having the cat there was a comfort in some kind of way. If you're not an animal or cat person this is probably hard to understand but that's the way it is.
Berni lost her battle against cancer last year. They didn't make it to their first wedding anniversary. She knew she was dying but she always remained upbeat. She went to work on the good days and stayed at home on the bad days.
Which is why loosing our cat seems so much harder.
Which is why loosing our cat seems so much harder.
You see it turned out our lovely little cat didn't die of old age. She had cancer. Just like Berni. And now my dad has lost something that was close to Berni and in a way it's like loosing a piece of Berni again. To cancer.
We've both had a good cry today. I guess it's brought back some memories I'd buried.
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| Dad & Berni after she'd been diagnosed with cancer. |
I know this isn't your typical happy blog post but I felt like I really needed to get this out.
Sometimes we use our online life to portray a happy world we live in but life isn't really like that.
Sometimes we use our online life to portray a happy world we live in but life isn't really like that.
This post made me cry. I feel so sorry for your dad. The same thing happened with my Aunty this year.. her daughter died of cancer when she was 21. We all chipped in to buy her a dog to give her something to live for.. last October the dog died of cancer too.. my aunt fell apart. Luckily it's been 14 years since my cousin passed and my aunty is a much stronger person. But it still brought up sad memories for her.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you could be there for your dad, even if it was just over the phone. Cancer is a bitch.
I love a good honest post, and I hope by writing it, it helped!
Amy x cocktailsinteacups.com
Oh Amy that's so sad. I welled up reading your comment. Thank you for taking the time to share. In a way it's reassured me that it's normal to feel this way. x
DeleteOh this just made me rather teary. Life can be so cruel at times, yet it can also be amazingly wonderful. Remember the good times, I know things like this do get easier even when it seems really impossible at the time.
ReplyDeleteI worry about my Cat Oliver, he is 13 years old in June bless him and he has been with me since I was 11. Loosing a pet is heartbreaking, people who are not as attached to animals probably find it really hard to understand but I fully understand what your saying.
Thinking of you and your dad tonight.
Amy xx
A Little Boat Sailing
Hi Amy, thanks for your kind words. It's nice to know some people understand how you feel. x
DeleteThis post has made me so sad. It's ridiculous, but we had our cat put down last year and just the thought of losing him is enough to make me cry all over again. I never knew I'd be so sad, he wasn't even my cat, but for some reason his death hit me so much harder than that of my own cat a few years before. She also lost the battle to cancer, and although it's not the same I really do feel for you and your Dad. I hope the pain eases soon xx
ReplyDeleteThank you hun. I do feel better now but last night my dad cut up some chicken to give to the cat and then remembered......I guess it takes some getting used to. Sorry to hear about your cat and thank you for sharing. hearing other peoples comments really does help. xx
DeleteOh I'm so sorry- this is so sad. I'm so sorry you and your dad have had to go through that. I don't even really know what else to say, other than my thoughts are with you and your dad. Huge love to you xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Alice. It helped by writing about it and I found everyone's comments comforting. xx
DeleteSo sorry to hear this, cancer is an absolute bitch :(. Hope you and your Dad are ok, thinking of you both x
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words Kaz. Feeling a bit better. Grief tends to hit you in waves. x
DeleteThis was a really sad post. I hope that by writing it down and getting it out it's helped relieve some of the sadness for you.
ReplyDeleteHey lovely, it really did help by writing it down. At the time I thought I was going to burst. I wasn't sure about publishing it but glad that I did. x
DeleteThank you everyone for all your kind comments. I cried when I wrote this post and cried when I read your comments the first time round. Am feeling mostly better now. Grief is a funny thing, it hits you like a wave. One minute you're fine, the next it washes over you when you're not expecting it. Reading your experiences and comments helped. Thank you. x
ReplyDelete